D(iscipleship):101 Go the Extra Mile

Something that I have not really figured out for myself in ministry is the issue of meeting Biblical commands with the rubber meets the road aspect of ministry.

Sometimes, the idea seems really great when I am looking at it on the onion skin pages of scripture, but when it actually comes down to living it out—I find my task to be much more difficult.

What I am thinking about tonight comes from Matthew 38-42

(These words are from Jesus)

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.’ But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well. If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles. Give to the one who asks you, and do not turn away from the one who wants to borrow from you.

The whole turn the other cheek thing…I get. I believe most Christians to be relatively familiar with this phrase. No, leaders should not defend themselves. It is better to let someone trample all over you than to harm the other person. This is not always easy but it makes sense.

The kicker for me comes in with the second aspect of this verse, which is the fact that Jesus wants us to give more than people are asking of us. No…it is not good enough to do someone a favor…we must go above and beyond what is being asked.

Sometimes merely doing what is asked seems like a nearly impossible task, and yet…somehow God wants us to go beyond that point—beyond the minimum. I believe that Jesus wants us to do the impossible—fortunately

“With God, all things are possible”

While I do believe this, my question is this: In residence life, how does this play out? I know that I have met and found my own limits and am aware of my own boundaries. I know that I am a better leader and servant, if I respect my own limits and sometimes cannot do everything that I would like to.

It is a challenge to go the extra mile without getting heat stroke….

Somehow, the balance is possible…my prayer is that it will not be too difficult to find.

D(iscipleship):101 Identity

Matthew 3

Something that I have often seen leaders struggle with is the issue of affirmation.

In ministry, affirmation is something that should, constantly, be poured out by leaders and pastors. I see the title "Encourager" as a big part of my job description as a person in ministry. It is my job to catch glimpses of Jesus in those that I serve, then I seek to make that glimpse of Christ become the defining characteristic of that persons identity.

This can be a very exciting challenge.

Now...here's where the trouble comes in.

Leaders constantly pour encouragement out of themselves, but they are not often poured back into.

They seek to grow the identity of Christ in another person...but they do not always have someone that is doing the same for them.

This can be difficult, and it can often lead to a type of burn out where a leader attempts to draw affirmation and identity from those that he or she is trying to serve. A leader cannot lead for the purpose of gaining anything.

In Matthew 3, Jesus's identity as a Son of God is confirmed by God himself. God's actual words on Christ's identity are what truly defines Christ's public ministry.

Yes, people (individuals) such as John the Baptist or Peter knew who Jesus was and they publicly declared it, but their words could never have final say.

Both of them questioned or denied Jesus at one point or another.

God never re-stated his view of Jesus. He never doubted him, or denied him.

His word had to be the defining factor of Christ's ministry.

As leaders in this word today, few of us have recieved a perfect moment where the heavens litterally opened up and God spoke for everyone to hear, but the lesson remains the same.

If you are in ministry, people's view of you cannot define you or your role in ministry.

There minds will inevitably change.

God has to be the defining factor of your life, he has to be the foundation of your ministry.

People change their minds on a whim, God knows who you are.

D(iscipleship):101 Leadership is Direct

Matthew 3

I have a public relations degree.

This means that I like to explain everything in the most likable, politically correct, and positive manner possible.

John the Baptist did not do that.

In his leadership, he actually referred to his group as "A brood of vipers" (A bunch of snakes)

I would guess this was a very offensive term at the time...

especially since he follows insult up with more insult by stating this:

"Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not think you can say to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father.’ I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire."

(Your lives are going nowhere good. You brag about being decedents of Abraham, but you are doing nothing with your lives. God is ready to cut you out of his family if you do not turn around...like yesterday)

John the Baptist was so painfully direct, not because he liked ticking people off, but because it was necessary. His followers did not have a lot of time, and they were at risk for missing out on the rest of eternity. So, John laid the facts out as they were.

In leadership, there is a time for putting things nicely and there is a time for direct honesty. There is a time for issuing a warning, or a concern in a manner that is not going to be easy to hear. Even when a leader needs a gentle touch, it is important to remember John's honesty. It is wrong to sugar coat a warning that could save someone's life.

A leader must be direct rather than timid.

Beginnings and Endings

Up until this point, this blog has been a collection of ideas, thoughts and suggestions concerning my position as a Resident Assistant. It has been wonderful to use this site to look back on my own time in this position. I have truly loved it.

Now...this blog and I are turning over a new page. Today, I turned in my master key, and am no longer an Resident Assistant. After three years, my time in that position is over.

This is the RA staff that I was a part of this year!

Fortunately, my time in this ministry is far from over. This July will mark the beginning of my life as a Resident Director. I have spent much of the past year begging God to open up this kind of door for me, and he did. In the process of my "job search" he taught me so much about what it means to trust him, and I feel so blessed as I reflect on the process. Please ask me about it at some point! I would love to explain more.

For the next two months, I will be taking a vacation of sorts so I can be as prepared as possible for this new step in my life.

This summer, I will be reading the gospels for the purpose of studying Discipleship and Leadership. I am hoping to pick up some tips from Jesus! So, watch this blog for some insights.

I look forward to sharing my story with you!
~Becky

P.S. No, I will not be changing the name of this blog. No, I am no longer an RA, but I will definitely be working with them! I am hoping to share some of their ideas here too!

Clue Night (AKA the Best Night of My Life)

Have you ever had an idea...I mean a crazy one?
One that seemed like something that could never actually work out, but it was a nice thought.

Two summers ago, while I was counting cans of soup for YouthWorks, I thought that it might be fun to play a three-dimensional version of the board game "CLUE" in a residence hall. I thought that it might be fun to have the RAs dress up like the game characters and to allow residents to search the building for clues.

I pitched this idea to my staff last year...and together we planned it as a hall event. It was a huge success (and a lot of fun for all involved).

This year, we did it as an all campus event!
As and ARD, I was in charge of advertising...
Creating posters for this one was awesome!


I also got carried away and made images like this one for the RAs to use as profile pictures...





And a video for Chapel...

Then, after tons of planning, thinking and talking...
the event happened.

Here are some things you should know...

We had 160 people in our building that night (that is a phenominal turnout for a weekend event on this campus)


Things flowed beautifully.

Everyone who came had fun.

Teams of students built relationships with one another while they looked for criminals.


Our staff was so proud!

Princess Night

One of my very favorite aspects of my job is getting to watch development.
This can be within traditions, friendships and people.
In the case that I am thinking of today...

I have planned a "Princess Night" on my floor in each of the past three years.


These have been a fun combination of a relaxing social event and a spiritually uplifting one.
They always begin with a long gathering time of eating princess food (such as frog shaped cupcakes or chocolate covered strawberries), coloring pictures, listening to music, playing board games (Disney Princess Uno being the top pick), then a new Disney movie is played.
At the end of the night, my SLA (Spiritual Life Assistant) always finishes things off with a devotional time on the subject of being treasured by God.
One of the most exiting aspects of this event for me this year was the fact that I did not have to plan it. This is not to say that I do not love planning events (Because I do <3). What is more exciting is watching my residents plan them. This year I turned the whole thing over to some of the girls who had attended the event for the previous two years.

They did an awesome job! I am so proud!

It's Not About Getting Hired

I am now standing past the half way mark of my senior year of college.
At this point, I have sent out 29ish job applications and have gotten about 10 rejection letters. I am, genuinely, not a huge fan of this part of my life. I feel like I spend all of my time writing to complete strangers about my "qualifications" and "experience" and that I never have time to actually do the job that I love.

Tonight, I first spent some time with my actual residents (and not with my homework) for what feels like the first time in a long time. I simply talked to them, and I loved every moment of that time. Then, I spent a few minutes reading this blog before getting back to work...and I honestly felt like I had come home. It was delightful to soak in some memories that remind me of how much I actually love this job. I love my girls, and I have loved the fact that I have gotten to partner with God in the mission of developing leaders.

So, all of this to say...
Whether or not I become an RD, I have been honored and blessed by the opportunity to spend the past three years serving as a Resident Assistant.

I thank God for this piece of my life, regardless of my future.